How Not To Open a Bottle of Beer

Being the geniuses that Katrina and I are, we figured that it would be a good idea to drink before going into the concert so that 1. we could save money on beer and 2. be a little “loosened up” so that the crowds would be easier to deal with.

Once everyone (including Katrina’s friend and her friend) was awake we stopped next door for two six packs of Corona. Then we stopped at Subway before braving the long line of cars to get into Coachella.

Luckily it didn’t take us as long on Sunday (… only about an hour) to get in and park the car. Unfortunately, the spot we had was basically in the middle of a field and there was no shade. We got out our beer and food and headed toward a wall of trees/shrubs at the edge of the parking lot. Most likely, we sat where people had pissed last night, but whatever. I’m sure the sun and heat had dried it up by the time we got there.

Unfortunately we didn’t have a bottle opener. The people at the gas station recommended using a car seatbelt (why they knew this could be a great source of speculation), but that didn’t work. While Katrina’s friend’s friend used a lighter to open one bottle, Katrina and I met some random people who let us use theirs to open our bottles.

After we finished the first round, however, the people with the bottle opener had left. Katrina’s friend’s friend tried to open another with a lighter, but ended up basically shredding off a good chunk of skin on the side of the cap. Despite the first wound, he kept trying, until his hands were quite bloody. At that point we realized that a better solution would be to open the bottle using the edge of a spotlight trailier thing (so it would be like opening a bottle on the side of a counter). That word, but the poor friend still had massively bloody hands.

Oh, and opening the bottle on the side of the spotlight thing caused some shaking of the bottle which resulting in a mini-geyser of beer. I guess that made it more fun?

On the first day I kept thinking, “I hate these people who just come to the festival to hangout and drink and aren’t really there for the bands.” I must admit, I felt that we were sort of being those types of people that afternoon, so I have revised my dislike for people who hangout at the festivals.

It was really fun sitting in the sun with friends and new acquaintances, talking about random shit. Katrina’s friend’s friend was quite perplexed about Daft Punk, and kept asking us whether they were real people or who programmed the robots or what. At one point he said something like, “What is under the helmet?” which then required us to explain that they weren’t helmets, but rather Daft Punks’ heads. I even made a quip that his “helmet” (i.e. head) was a bit crooked. I think that finally got him to realize what special things Daft Punk are.

A Quick Stop At the Monster Hospital

The first band we wanted to see (well, actually Troy wanted to see Gabriel and Dresden at 1:30 p.m., but by the time we finished drinking it was already 4 p.m.) was Metric on the Mojave a.k.a. evil (due to the whole Clap Hands experience, despite the fact the stage worked pretty-okay for Ladytron) tent. At this point we separated from Katrina’s friend and her friend.

Metric was packed (though not as bad as Clap Hands), but it was late afternoon and the sun was out in full force. (It’s usually between 95 and 100 degrees at Coachella — this year was no exception.) There were two songs I wanted to hear: “Dead Disco” or “Monster Hospital.” After two songs, I told Katrina and Troy that if the next song wasn’t one of those, we could take off and get drinks/shade.

To my surprise (and luck), “Monster Hospital” was up next and I felt quite elated to hear it. But after that I wanted to get the hell out of the sun (we were that far back in the “tent”).

At the next stop at the beer garden Troy ended up taking a nap and Katrina and I made plans to go to the Sasquatch festival in Washington at the end of the month. We also tried to figure out our plans for the rest of the day, but then after getting confused and forgetting the details, we figured it was best to take things one step at a time.

You Are The Bluest Ooh La La Stella

The plan was this: Katrina would go to the Mojave tent for stellastar*, Troy would go to the Sahara tent for Paul Oakenfold, and I would go to the Outdoor Theatre for the Bloc Party. And with that all three split up for the first time.

I ended up standing pretty far in the back of the Bloc Party show. I probably stayed for three or four songs, but I only remember “Blue Light,” “Helicopter,” and “She’s Hearing Voices.” Since “Helicopter” and “She’s Hearing Voices” are my two favorite Bloc Party songs, I figured that I got enough of them and that it might not be a bad idea to check out Paul Oakenfold.

Some British magazine created a list of the however-many bands you have to see before you die. Surprisingly, Paul Oakenfold was on that list. That is part of the reason I figured I should make an attempt to check him out.

It took a while to walk across the field, but I finally made it. Unlike Daft Punk, Paul Oakenfold was doing a DJ set, so most of the music wasn’t his own. I didn’t really recognize the song that was playing when I entered, but the second song was “Ooh La La” by Goldfrapp. I was a bit taken aback by how fucking amazing it was to have The World’s Greatest DJ playing one of your favorite songs as of late almost immediately after you enter the tent. Nonetheless, I totally got into it.

The so-called Paul Oakenfold remix of “Ooh La La” wasn’t really anything special. It used the pretty standard Oakenfold remix template: organs followed by buildup with more organs followed by a pause followed by something of a climax in the organs and start of the most intense part of the song. I loved it nonetheless and wonder if it’ll show up on the net anytime soon.

After “Ooh La La” finished and I didn’t recognize the next song, I figured that since I heard two great songs at Bloc Party followed by one of my favorite songs at Paul Oakenfold, that I should stop over at the stellastar* tent since they were Katrina’s #2 band that she wanted to see.

I think I got to the stellastar* set about two or three songs into it. Admittedly, I didn’t really know them that well, but I know that they did play “Sweet Troubled Soul,” which Katrina had introduced me to just one night before.

Since Katrina had been hanging out in the Mojave tent since pretty early in the day, she was pretty much front and center for the entire thing. Since I didn’t arrive as early, I was probably somewhere around 10 rows of people back. Nonetheless, when, toward the end of the show, one of the band members turned his digital camera on the crowd, I’m pretty sure that I made the picture (and I’m sure Katrina did).

They totally reminded me of Interpol or Franz Ferdinand — both by the way they dressed/performed and by the way they sounded. It was a very high-energy performance and has since convinced me to purchase their album Harmonies for the Haunted and download a few remixes of “Sweet Troubled Soul.”

I met up with a very excited Katrina after the show and we headed, of course, to the same meeting spot to prepare for Madonna. Troy managed to see most of the Oakenfold set (I think, at least?).

Why? Control.

Since the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were playing on the main stage (and you could see them from pretty much anywhere), we figured it’d be a perfect opportunity to get food and drink. I got the same vegan humus warp thing that I got the day before in addition to some sort of “super brownie” (I forget, now, exactly what they called it), but it was also vegan (it had carob and raisins!) and very yummy.

Unfortunately, we weren’t the only ones who had the great idea of catching the Yeah Yeah Yeahs from the beer garden, so we didn’t catch as much of the show (from a distance) as I had hoped. I did, however, hear them perform “Y Control” (my favorite Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ song), so it wasn’t a total bust.

I Don’t Love Coachella

Despite Troy’s initial plans to head to Madonna early while Katrina and I drank, he stuck with us and we joined the huge mass of people moving toward the Sahara tent in order to see Madonna. She was scheduled to start around 8:10 p.m., but I don’t think we left until maybe 7:50 p.m. or even 8 p.m.

The best part about walking over there: On the way over to the tent, the massive Tesla Coil ignited and shot off made massive lightning bolts. It was quite cool and I’m hoping it introduced all the Coachella crowd to the genius of Nikola Tesla.

Even by the time we were pretty far from the stage, it was obvious that the Madonna performance was going to be insane and packed. Katrina decided she didn’t even want to deal with it and took off.

By the time we got into the heart of the crowd, it was well past 8:10 p.m. — when Madonna was supposed to start. After a few false starts (music would change, people got pumped), lots of chanting “Madonna,” and even some booing, Madonna took the stage at somewhere around 8:30 p.m. or 8:40 p.m. (yes, quite late).

She opened with “Hung Up” and the crowd litereally went wild. Everyone moved up probably 10 feet or so once people stood up and/or rushed closer to the stage and packed themselves even closer. We took advantage of the crowd movement to also move in closer, but we quickly realized that we made a pretty big mistake since we couldn’t see anything. We figured that if we headed toward the back we’d be able to at least see over people’s heads, so that’s what we did.

By the time “Hung Up” was over and Madonna had started “Get Together,” we were way in the back and able to see Madonna both in person and on the big screens. Troy tried to sit on a fence thing so that he could see better, but got in trouble (twice!!).

To be honest, I wasn’t all that impressed with the performance. She did three more songs (“I Love New York,” “Ray of Light,” and “Everybody”) and at one point yelled at the crowd for being selfish (since we were in the back, we didn’t really get what was happening or why she said that).

My favorite part was during “I Love New York” when Madonna strapped on an electric guitar (who knew she could play!) and put her hands down her pants a la an overly masculine man.

Once “Everybody” (the fifth song) was finished, everyone assumed that she was taking a short break… but no, the lights turned on and the crew began striking the set.

Mars Needs Mylo

Mylo was the next band/person I wanted to see, and he was following Madonna in the Sahara tent. So it didn’t really matter to us whether Madonna was really over or taking a break. Either way, we were staying in the Sahara tent, so we didn’t have to worry about accidentally leaving had the awkwardly-ended set been followed by an encore.

Considering how long it took for Madonna to set up, it didn’t take long at all for Mylo to get setup (but then again, when all you need are two turntables, things are a bit simpler). It was also pretty amazing how the tent which contained probably a majority of the people at Coachella quickly emptied out to maybe just under 100.

I was really excited for the Mylo set since his album Destroy Rock and Roll is (so far) one of my favorite albums from 2006. Hell, I did an entire DJ mix inspired by his song “Destroy Rock and Roll.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t really recognize any of the stuff he played. Not to say that it was a bad set or anything, but I felt like for someone who put together such a great album and has done some great remixes (Annie’s “Chewing Gum,” Kylie Minogue’s “I Belive In You,” etc.), the set lacked personality and familiarity.

The screen he had kept displaying the words “Mars needs women” which sort of made me hope he was going to throw in MARRS’s song “Pump Up The Volume” (where the lyric is featured prominately) or something. If he did play a song that used those lyrics, I didn’t recognize it, and part of a fun DJ set is mixing obscure with known material. Oh well.

The Massive Team

Troy and I left Mylo early to meet up with Katrina to see the Scissor Sisters. We met at the same meeting place as always, and then somehow I know I spent about 20 minutes watching Massive Attack (I’m not sure what Katrina and Troy did during this time).

I was so far back that I really didn’t get much of Massive Attack. From what I could tell, they had a lot of people and instruments and singers and some fancy lights going on. I think Massive Attack would’ve been much better if I were sitting down and just chilling out, so I headed back to meet up with Troy and Katrina.

We then walked over to the Outdoor Theatre where The Go! Team was finishing their set. Katrina had caught some of them during Mylo and wasn’t very impressed. The only song we all heard was “Ladyflash” (one of my favorite Go! Team songs).

Filthy and Gorgeous

Once the huge entourage that is The Go! Team left the stage, the people for Scissor Sisters started setting things up.

Katrina decided she didn’t want to hang around for Scissor Sisters and took off. That left Troy and I to, again, work our way to get as front and center as possible. Since the Scissor Sisters are pretty popular, this was rather difficult… and in the end we ended up behind a really really tall guy (who kept blocking everyone’s view), so in a way trying to get close was moot, anyway.

Closing out the festival with the Scissor Sisters was amazing. I’ve been hearing for years (and even have their DVD which, in fact, confirms) that they are one of the best ever live bands. Ana Matronic and Jake Shears love performing and really get into the banter and showing off and having a good time

Ana Matronic started the show by evoking some spirit of the moon (which at the time was obscured by clouds!) and the desert and coyotes — and made everyone join her when it came time to howl.

Although many of the songs they played were from their upcoming album, they did the “old favorites” like “Mary,” “Laura,” “Take Your Mama, “Tits on the Radio,” “Comfortably Numb,” and “Filthy/Gorgeous.” I was really hoping that they would do “Electrobix,” but you can’t make everyone happy.

Toward the middle/end of the show, Ana Matronic made everyone take a time-out and introduce themselves to their “new dancing partner.” I forget the name of the guy I met (so bad of me!!), but I am sort of glad she made me meet him since I know that during my dancing/flailing I did bump/hit him a few times.

Before their encore song (I want to say it was “Filthy/Gorgeous”), Ana Matronic did a great monologue about how she wished Coachella could keep going and that they could play way into the night. She explained that she should have Madonna fly in on a helicopter in her leotard and give Massive Attack time to do a huge DJ set and rock out with the Bloc Party and stuff. It was really funny and sort of recapped the entire day of Coachella.

The Sisters ended right at midnight (at that point Katrina was at the Art Brut show, and they claimed that if you play past midnight Coachella is fined due to some sort of ordinance, so all the bands have to stop pretty much right at midnight). We met up with Katrina, avoided Tool, and left.

And that was my Coachella 2006 experience. Summed up: It was great, and I’m hoping to go again. (Now that I’ve learned some lessons and know what to expect.)

The “Coachella ’06” (day 2) pictures are “© Troy Ngo”