This is my blog. Take it at face value.
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Thursday, April 08, 2004
This was literally the most tense i've ever been taking a quizilla. But I did it. I'm as great as Jason.
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!
How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
7:14 PM
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Funny.
http://www.glossynews.com/artman/publish/homoalert-617.shtml
3:19 PM
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
My favorite Bushism:
"The march to war affected the people's confidence. It's hard to make investment. See, if you're a small business owner or a large business owner and you're thinking about investing, you've got to be optimistic when you invest. Except when you're marching to war, it's not a very optimistic thought, is it? In other words, it's the opposite of optimistic when you're thinking you're going to war." —Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004 (Thanks to Garry Trudeau.)
repeat: in other words, it's the opposite of optimistic when you're thinking you're going to war.
that's almost the same whopperly wonderful fancy re-wording of reality as colin powell on a fox news syndication saying something like: we are not imposing ourselves on others, but we are creating a partnership.
yeah, a partnership with guns and occupation and invasion? not really a partnership as much as coercion. may i point you to the new york times editorial (today's) killing iraq with kindness...
okay enough disdain with political situations and politicians for a day
9:38 PM
Why Prince will always be my little man (listen to pink cashmere to hear him call himself a little man):
his advice to young artists as he just got introduced into the rock n roll hall of fame:
"I embarked on a journey more fascinating than I could ever imagine, but a word to the wise to the young artists - without spiritual guidance too much freedom can lead to spiritual decline," he said.
oh, so wise.
and it only gets better, "A real friend and mentor is not on your payroll."
but no one tops or could possibly match the accuracy and soulfulness of alicia key's assesment of the situation:
"There are many kings," Keys said. "King Henry VIII, King Solomon, King Tut, King James, King Kong and the three kings. But there is only one Prince."
hell yeah!
11:49 AM
Monday, March 15, 2004
here's the wal-mart article: it was in new haven's newspaper. is that conneticut?
"Bootilicious." "Booti-," as in your "booty," or buttocks, and "-licious," as in "tasty." It’s a term that parent Michelle Ferro of Wallingford doesn’t want used about her 6-year-old daughter’s derriere, much less printed on the clothing she wears.
But lately, Ferro and other concerned mothers noticed that Wal-Marts throughout the state are marketing the suggestive sayings and other provocative clothing to their girls age 10 and under.
"In this society, sex sells and now they’re promoting it to our little girls," said an appalled Ferro as she leafed through the clothing racks at Wal-Mart in Wallingford.
From Wallingford to Derby, Wal-Mart is folding the provocative kids’ wear into their stores with sexier fashion brands like No Boundaries, mary-kateandashley and even Disney.
"Can’t we preserve their innocence just a bit longer?" she asked, as she held up a "mini-miniskirt" featuring Disney’s Tinkerbell character in a seductive, thigh-baring pose.
Other Wal-Mart apparel includes crotch-riding shorts with the tops rolled down and sayings, such as "Beach Bum," printed on the rear, as well as shirts reading, "No Shirts or Shoes Required."
"It doesn’t look good on a woman and now it’s going on little girls," said Ferro, who said she’s not being prudish.
It’s more about her inability to find casual clothes for her girl without drawing attention to her daughter’s private parts.
Sure she can shop elsewhere, Ferro remarked. But the whole point of Wal-Mart, she noted, is to provide a one-stop shopping convenience for people like herself, who have two kids in tow, or for those who are on fixed budgets.
"They just need to get better merchandise," she said.
Ferro is not alone in her disgust.
"What are they putting in this?" said stunned Wallingford resident Shari Wilson, referring to a cotton push-up bra from the Derby Wal-Mart that is sized to fit girls under age 7.
"If they have anything to put in there, then those kids need to go on a diet," she added.
Wilson said Wal-Mart’s fashions are sending a warped message to girls, including her 9-year-old daughter, that sexy clothes will make them popular and pretty as long as their "butt cheeks" are popping out.
As a bus driver, Wilson said that message only carries on to the middle school girls, who are already dressing in revealing clothes thanks to stores like Abercrombie & Fitch.
"It makes me angry as a mother," Wilson said.
Shelf Removal
The garments’ evocativeness so deeply bothered Ferro that she complained to Wallingford Wal-Mart’s assistant manager, Victor Sanatos.
During their conversation, Ferro said she and Sanatos "saw eye to eye" on the issue, with him telling Ferro he wouldn’t allow his own young daughter to don the fashions. Sanatos could not be reached for comment.
Wal-Mart’s senior spokeswoman at corporate headquarters in Bentonville, Ark., defended the selections for young girls.
"We try our best to balance our merchandise offerings to meet the needs of a variety of customers, and we feel as though the seasonal items (mentioned) … are age-appropriate offerings given the current fashions in the marketplace," said Melissa Berryhill.
Berryhill further defined brands such as No Boundaries "as fashion-forward and trendy," noting that the waistlines of the "attitude shorts’" are not stitched and can be unrolled to adjust the length.
Ferro said the fact that Wal-Mart displayed the shorts rolled down surprised her and her husband because it entices kids to bare more skin.
Berryhill suggested parents who are displeased with the clothes might be happier with other more mainstream lines, including Hanes and Faded Glory.
Fashion Psyche Factors
Such fashions enter the mainstream market because stores, such as Wal-Mart, Gap, Old Navy and others, are merely responding to modern culture, according to Alan Kazdin, a clinical psychologist specializing in child development and child aggression.
"The clothing is a deeper sign that reflects a larger trend and set of issues," said Kazdin, who also serves as Yale Child Study Center director.
That broader message is the "pervasive permissiveness" of a "lack of values" displayed by all media.
"What is available to the children on television and the Internet makes the issue of (provocative) clothing child’s play," Kazdin said.
What is perceived as provocative clothing for young girls only exacerbates that permissiveness, he added.
As long as consumers demand it, children’s exposure to such clothes may increase before the stores "dump" the designs for something trendier and more profitable, he said.
"The stores are not the problem here. The problem is the market," noted Kazdin.
Dr. Ruth Rubinstein of the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York agreed, saying the trend is more about a fashion statement than about stores encouraging promiscuity.
"If the most popular kid is coming to school with a tutu (on), than everyone will be coming to school with tutus," said Rubinstein, an associate professor of sociology.
Besides, she said, sensual clothing is the current fashion trend for women, which young girls like to "imitate" in order to feel older and more sophisticated.
"Now if I saw them (dressed sexy) in a nightclub, that would be different," Rubinstein said with a laugh.
Further, parents’ fears that clothing designs encourage sexual predators are unfounded, she said.
"Child molesters will molest anyway, no matter how conservatively kids dress," she said.
3:00 PM
Thursday, March 11, 2004
i hope this link still works if any one finally checks my blog:
http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/20403.htm
this above is a story, i mean, a feat of journalistic genius. this girl recently killed herself by jumping out of an apartment building, rather took the "plunge," as the article states maybe twice, and the picture they have of her is jumping in her high school long jump competition. get it, long jump in high school, jumping out of apartments.
the best is the list of the other three people who have killed themselves (one isn't as of an official of a suicide because the kid was on hallucigenic drugs) this year at NYU, an unprecendeted year of sadness, says the dean.
oh ,the rigors of academia. i wish i cared enough about school when i was there to want to kill myself. but i will side with the girl, i can see why a relationship (which seems more of the reason for her untimely demise) turned sour would make life not worth living. i mean she god damn transfered schools to be near him. and what, he's going to break up with her? F**k that.
and while im on the subject. i recently read an article about wal-mart's childrens fashions that amazed me. evidently ten year old girls are being given a choice between hootchie-mama and ho. this angers concerned mothers. the article goes on justifying the ho-inspired clothes as : a) the fashion trend which wal-mart has to follow to be competitive and sell clothes, b) younger girls like to feel more mature and sophisticated and these clothes allow that role play to happen; finally, mothers are assuged with this: sexual predators/pedophiles are going to attack/abduct/sexually harm some child any way, regardless of what they are wearing, i.e., it's not like their scantily-clad, sexed-up ten year olds would be better off in more conservative attire because sex predators are sex predators. WHAT? what does that have anything to do with the issue of decency the mother raised. i thought that comment was wierd. i will try to find the article again, but i think all of the above were given in response to the concerned mother by a wal-mart official. and im like, that's wack, yo.
other than that: my typical movie suggestions: the fog of war is amazing. elephant is good, gus van sant surprised me with making a true film.
and music: wilco's "being there". i like this alt-country business. well, its grown on me and puts me in a really good mood. and track #5 on the first album is great.
12:32 AM
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
You are a Tortured Conceptual Artist. Your fellow
postmodernists call you an anachronism, but
you've never cared much about the opinions of
others. After all, most of them are far too
simple-minded to appreciate the nuances of your
work. They talk, while you are part of a lived
tradition.
What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla
11:24 PM
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated, hard-
willed and not too friendly about it. You keep
people out of places, or you keep them in, and
without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you'll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma'am.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
10:41 PM
Sunday, August 10, 2003
ha ha ha; this is for jason:
love is thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail
it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea
love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive
it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only
is higher than the sky.
10:28 PM
I FORGOT. i returned home earlier today from seattle to find a present on my mail box. Leslie, who is the god damn love of my life times ten, left me four MORRISSEY postcards. the four postcards feature the lead singer (duh, Morrissey) of the smiths, in hoty hot poses. they are 111 of 1000. collector's item, par excellence. that set my day for not disappointment. later her and i went to the park and chased nico around. man. kids. yeah.
10:00 PM
yeah to eighties music. between the smiths, the cure, new order, and neo-new wave omaha band the faint and also a newer band primal scream (which is vaguely reminiscent of eighties) i can't get enough. i was watching a dvd of new order videos. people are funny in the eighties. do you remember a sort of space age-y, bad costumes, crazy makeup music videos? the best. next party i throw is going to be dress from a nine teen eighties music video. that would be worth photographing and would require amazing ingeniuty. ACK. i am in such a good mood today. i have been copying cds and listening to another favorite band of mine, autechre, a techno band that is also amazing, but not really nineteen eighties at all.
you would think the worst, most bitter, longest break up ever would be affecting me horribly, however, i actually feel good. i am thinking of posting "his" (a.k.a. "my darkest hour", as i affectionately call him) email for all to read. i have been such a nimrod. i swear, no wonder i don't have boyfriends, i am INSANE. i contradict myself and i am selfish and i don't treat people very well because i am a bitch. regardless, he is a ding a ling because he should have wrote me the gruff "goodbye" forever email he sent to me last night MONTHS ago; but, being the excellent, most wonderful person ever, he procrastinated until he had a "serious girlfriend" in the works (as he does now). that is so punk ass and funny.
i am going to quit smoking starting now. no more. i can't afford it. so expect a nasty blog tomorrow when i am all strung out, needing a nicotine fix and being depressed because of my chemical dependence.
last night i hung out with jason in seattle and it was such fun. i drank a lot. two martinis (the first gin, the second a cosmopolitan) at night, and before hand i had a margarita and a two dollar beer. we went shopping at the gap and i have some new underwear that makes me a happy hipster. and a cute tank top. all of this, of course, i can't afford, but i just don't care anymore. my underwear is cute. who needs food?
cest la vie.
9:52 PM
Friday, August 08, 2003
well, i have a job starting september. i am going to be a poor do gooder. a thankless job really. i am going to teach kids to read better. great. i am going to be poor still. and i won't be able to save for a car.
the other night, leslie and i went to a show. cj is in town, so he played his bass. and then this girl band t n a (as in tits and ass) played and permenently damaged our ears. we still can't hear right. leslie and i both realized we are old. the show started at 9:30 and by 10:30, we were tired and feeling like it was time to go. we did leave for a bit, but came back for more c.j. leslie and i are facing a lot of similar issues lately. mainly, we feel old, but not ready to leave youth. we are both accepting of down sizing some of our big dreams for our lives; not that we have given up, we just have gotten more homebody than we ever thought we would and like our lives, even though we are living something much different than we imagined at one point in time. man, i love leslie. we took this long walk to get coffee and to the post office today; long because her son takes forever to get going, and then we have to stop at parks, and then we have to wait for him to eat his squash bread and honey dew pieces. but every minute of it was utterly enjoyable.
did i mention i love the smiths? i can't stop listening to them! c'es la vie.
7:14 PM
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
i forgot to mention my new reading pasttime, which is writing by the women suffragists. it came to me by some bizarre train of thought, that i really did not know anything about these women. my favorite find is victoria woodhull who ran for president, on the ticket with du bois, was a stockbroker who funded her own newspaper and who wrote quite prolifically (word?) on issues of feminism, politics, and capitol/labor (like marx and smith, whom the writing reminds me of). i think the disparity of how we perceive ourselves and who we really are, is funny. i would like to see myself as sort of a victoria woodhull radical and all, but really, i am some one more like e. cady stanton, far more conservative and stuffy, and it was stanton and anthony who kind of avoided woodhull in general (so i've read). just like i am the biggest snob in the world, but right now i am drinking beer and joining in with the innane masses with my constant beer consumption and glorification.
anyway, i just got back from a walk to the grocery store, and it is funny because i have nicknames for the homeless people i often see and recongize. this one guy wears camoflauge and carries a stick, i call him jesus. another guy just walks around really erect, with one hand palm up, sort of stomping the ground, i call him what is going on guy. i swear he is asking humanity that question, what IS going On HERE? first of all, why do these people all seem to be glowing and looking like prophets of some sort and second of all, i am afraid of how fine the line is seperating me from them. okay, i am going to stop with this i am poor thing any time now.
lastly, it is rainy and cold here. it is like summer is over and fall has begun. hopefully, summer will soon be back.
8:25 PM
i have been hanging out a lot with nico, leslie's son. i rather like watching the two of them interact. leslie always wears a smile, which makes her look infinitely more beautiful than she already is. nico is happy all the time and does cute things like tear apart music tapes and clod around with his too big shoes and stick himself in cabinets (sp?). i am starting to really settle into my life here in tacoma and am rather happy; finally. i have decided to stick it out here for a while, not that i was going to move anywhere, but now i am totally okay with it. other than that, i am just poor and double poor. it makes me laugh how poor i am. and how i walk everywhere. yesterday, to deal with walking, i just got really drunk at the restaurant i was at on some ridiculous drink called an electric lemonade. it made walking and being in public near the water front okay. i figure as long as i have enough money to get relatively drunk once a day, everything is going to be fine. last night, i made up three new alicia's cardinal rules, inspired by hemingways comment in a milan kundera novel that everyone hates him for being a liar and a drunk, and wondered why everyone didn't just care about what he wrote, anyway my three rules for my existence and my general equation for GOOD: 1) lazy, 2) liar, 3) drunk. this is going to be a truly fulfilling existence. well, at least i won't have children and probably won't end up married (i mean who would deal with a lazy, lying drunk?); marriage and babies are two things which, totally by proxy (right word?), surround my life on this plane of like look what everybody else is doing and realizing how distant and how much that is not what i am going to be doing. anyway, i am trying to quit smoking, so i have an incredible headache and an incredible impatience, but at least i will be healthy again. i love the smith's. i love the smith's. i love the smith's and i love the smith's. one of my favorite lyrics: i smoke cuz i am hoping for an early death.
7:02 PM
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
FUN FUN FUN. is what i am really having. jolie and i had a phone conversation the other day which first of made me realize i have to start admiting i am fine and having fun and second i have to start being honest with myself, honest enough to not be such a god damn contradiction, which means i have to admit i like my present and where i am at. I played pool the other night with two friends, and i ran the table for a while, which means i was kicking ass. jim (leslie's jim) was so mad at me for being so good. also, jim made me the most amazing "sushi dinner" late last night. he went to sushi and hated the seafood part, but like the rice, the cucumber, the egg, and the carrot. so he makes his own version. a big bowl of rice. a plate of cut of cucumber and carrot sticks. and a big bunch of fried egg with tony's creole seasoning (a southern favorite, they put it in EVERYTHING). and then you just put it all in your mouth and enjoy.
anyway. i had a job interview today with americorps people. i might teach young native american kids on the puyallup reservation how to read. they have pow-wows the kids take part three times a week (at least) on top of big time pow wow's once a month. what a funny place to work! funny in a good way. and i have to admit, even though the woman interviewing me was white, walking in to a place full of native american kids, i felt horrible about being white. i hate that consciousness you get, like i know no one here really cares or thinks too much about it on a basic interacting level, but you just know race is an issue and that regardless of how cool i am or how i maybe working there so that makes me okay, i am still white. i remember vivdly one day when i was getting an oil change, how painfully aware i was of how i was the white, university educated girl getting my nice car changed by black people, and even though it was just a matter of place and situation, there was this residue of master/slave, just in the way the mechanics were treating me, like "yes m'am", "sure m'am" "we working for you m'am," and i was like, well at least i am aware of it and wish it wasn't so, but i still felt like an ass and a half and no matter how i tried to right the situation by trying to talk to the guys like people and no matter how gracious i was about accepting their help, it didn't really change much because the interaction was set in the rut of a dialogue based on all the past leading up to the present. i don't have any interesting conclusions about the whole matter, except at least i am not most white people who don't think about it.
lastly, even if i don't get the americorps job, i think i am still goign to try to volunteer there at least once a week.
2:45 PM
Saturday, July 26, 2003
in an insane frenzy, i just cut up and destroyed all of my journals. i expected to feel much better; but i still too much of my past with me. i swear, i am not going to be happy until i am utterly destroyed and obliterated; perhaps what i mean, is that i am a point in my life where i need to live out a bunch of symbolic suicides.
9:42 PM
a typical tacoma evening. i spent a good portion of my day with jon h. and dan m. jon howland and i took an epic journey to safeway grocery store, returning with beer and doughnuts. after finally reaching our destination of 17th and Oakes, we both agreed that we god damn deserved those doughnuts and all of the beers for our trouble. i learned to play cribbage and i beat dan and jon at three hand hearts (in an amazing last minute marvelous strategically played hand, i shot the moon) and then jon and i gossiped about people and talked about masculinity and gender. even though i hate being in tacoma beause it is full of memories, each street i swear is layered with some walk with some one i continue to have some sort of emotional attachment to and this drags me down in ways, i like being here enough to not want to leave for a while.
3:26 PM
Friday, July 25, 2003
so thanks to liz and reading her blog, i am writing again. yeah. i had the most eventful frenzy of mental day today. first, i fucked up an interview with literary corps by not having a ride and the woman did not call me back so i am a fuck up; and worse, i really, finally got the geniune urge to help others out and wanted to be able to teach underprivileged kids to read. perhaps i will call her tomorrow. then i got a check in the mail from my father; and went to depoist it, only to find out i am on the verge of broke; which sent me into another cascade of fuck fuck fuck because i started to realize how poor i am right now and how on the verge of being a homeless begger i really am. like two steps away guys. and i can't afford a car. and i can't afford much of anything. anyway, if i don't find a job in the next week or so, start saving your change for me! and then i started to realize how poor i am always going to be and that i am probably never going to be able to save up money anytime, but always living paycheck to paycheck. yeah. next subject. then i left for seattle to go visit jas and my new pal john k. john k was suppossed to call me at TWO, but did not get off of work until THREE, so i had to bum around dirty, boring, same old downtown seattle for an hour, feeling rejected and bored. luckily, we found each other and had a nice time; and HE paid for lunch. it was funny, at the restaurant the guy called us felix and oscar because he ordered a veggie sandwich, while i order a triple cheese cheeseburger with bacon (the odd couple); should i now mention that i am no longer a vegetarian in any sense of the word. we then went to grand central bakery and got chocolate and discussed movies and the merits of seattle and i told him that the underground tour of seattle is stupid and i couldn't believe he would even think of going on it (which he was considering) and he recently went to folk life, and had two KEEN reactions: one, if you have seen one drum circle, you have seen them all; and two (he would kill me if he knew i was repeating this, but i laughed about it FOREVER) there is nothing better than well meaning talentless people. still kills me. we had a serious talk about my life and my problems and his life and his struggles, then i was off to jason. i drank a lot of water and he did NOT give me a back massage and we discussed the far-out gary davis situation amonst other things. now i am at home tired from all the walking i did today and ready for bed. cest la fucking vie. it has been a very self-reflective day for sure. i had many momens of enlightenment, including that i am a shitty friend in general and that i have to live for my self and have faith in my beliefs, ideals, and world; and i have to stop being afraid of things, including myself.
1:02 AM
Monday, May 19, 2003
yeah to swimming (laps) and doughnuts and gin and tonics. tonight my mother and i went to a doughnut store with all intentions of buying one doughnut each; but then my mother got extreme on me! she was like, it is only 4.99 for 14 doughnuts, we better get 14. yeah. my mom impressed me much.
i have had an ephiany concerning working as a waitress; yes, it is a crock of shit, but a crock of shit that needs to be taken seriously. if i am going to be a part of something, i better start being a good, productive, helpful part of the team and a god damn good waitress, otherwise I AM wasting my time.
10:11 PM
Saturday, May 03, 2003
so today at work went well. i made a fifteen dollar tip on a sixty five dollar check. that's huge. today was a wonderful night, i wonder why i pretend to hate work so much; then i realize, i am about to go on a week long vacation, so everything seems more beautiful, more serene, and more acceptable when you know you are about to have a nice break from it and i am not stuck anywhere. right now i have a very cry-y teary, neice in my lap, so i can't think or say much else.
10:58 PM
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